SO LONG TY.

Ah man, now is when show's like this start getting sad. Rockstar:INXS was down to the final 6 and you knew sooner or later, the people you like are going to have to go. Tonight, that person was Ty. What a class act and a true talent. To be honest, I never thought he would be crowned the new lead singer of INXS, as I am truly convinced that title belongs to Marty, but I really thought he would be in the final 3 or 4 and definitely stay longer than that Suzie. Don't even get me started on that. Yah, her version of Bohemian Rhapsody was pretty good (although she's no Constantine Maroulis!), but I really don't think she is better than Ty, let alone close to being good enough to be the lead singer of INXS. Also, I was really turned off by her "cockiness" during the results show when she 1) had that smirk and didn't raise her hand when Navarro asked the contestants "who thinks they in the bottom three?" Um, If Marty can raise his hand after that amazing performance of "Wish You Were Here" so can you honey. 2) That fake, exaggerated sad frown she made to the camera (when she was not in the bottom three) after the commercial break. Yah, I'm really sure you were sad, biatch. One of the things that made Ty's elimination so sad was you knew each and every week how much he wanted to win. It comes down to this, the guy's got an awesome mohawk, so much passion, a strong presence and had a set of pipes that were probably a little too "pure" for INXS. As Martha Stewart would say, "It's a good thing."

OH NAVEEN, NOT YOU TOO!

Only a few more weeks until Lost's September 21st season premiere (yay!) and of course, along comes a bit of a scandal. Unfortunately, it involves one of my fave cast members Naveen Andrews who plays the fab Sayid. The good 'ol National Enquirer has come out with heartbreaking allegations that he got a student actress pregnant while cheating on his long-term love, movie star Barbara Hershey, 57. On August 14, actress Elena Eustache said she was six months pregnant with Naveen's (or as she has nicknamed him "Chocolate Man's") baby. She claims he walked out on Barbara after the couple shared a passionate affair as he filmed Lost in Hawaii (no! no! say it aint so!). "He was the best in bed, it was ecstasy," said Elena, 30. "He used to tell me I should be in the Kama Sutra." Elena also appears to be a bit off her rocker, "treasuring" text messages he allegedly sent her, including: "It's crazy on set. I will call later tonight my darling. xxx" (Now that's scandalous!). How did this pregnancy happen you ask? Well, Elena alleges she was on the Pill but accidentally became pregnant ("accidentally?" uhhuh). But she also claims Naveen went running back to Barbara after he found out. "When I told Naveen in February that I was going to have his child, he freaked out," she said."I haven't heard from him since and I'm heartbroken." Although Elena has threatened to conduct a DNA test once the baby is born, Naveen has denied he is the father and has described her claims as "ridiculous." Let's give Naveen the benefit of the doubt here...she sounds like a koo-koo clock. Plus, we all know he loves the older women (you gotta love that), what would he be doing with a 30 year old? Guess we'll just have to wait and see.....

And for those of you who haven't seen this...check out this crazy ass promo they made last year for the debut of LOST. (make sure to click "Play Ad")
Related Post: Oh No. Naveen Andrews Officially Knocks Up Secret Lover

HOOTY-HOO! APRIL THINKS WE ARE ALL PIECES OF SHIT!

Way to go America! Janelle wins "America's Choice!"

It sucks to be the host of your own funeral but there is no way I'm giving up.--- James BB6

I felt bad for James and I love that he never gives up. You gotta respect the guy, he knows how to play the game and play it well. It's an injustice when a good player gets backdoored, that's not real competition to me. That blank look James gets in his eyes when he knows he's toast just kills me. Still, I don't want Howie or Janelle to leave over him so, James, It's been nice knowin' ya.

Who else saw Howie's crack when he and Janelle were in the HOH room talking to April? Oh yah, Howie was right, April's husband IS fat.

Oh Beau, stop being a little bitch. Just accept the fact that yes, Janelle IS "a frickin lucky bitch!" as you said AND WE LOVE JANELLE, and the fact that she won the trip to the Bahamas, ok? Neener, neener, neener! Get the message. No one likes you and "The Friendship." The icing on the cake was Janelle also winning America's Choice and I gleefully laughed my ass off. Of course Janelle, my kind of girl asked Michael, "Did Britney Spears have her baby?" She is so cute. I love that "The Friendship" had to fake happiness when Janie won. What a whiny cryfest that was afterwards. Ivette. You big crybaby. America Hates you most!!! Maybe if you weren't so evil (evilette as she is called on the boards) you would have had a better chance of getting a phonecall from your "tushie pie." Evil bitches Ivette ("waa! Waa! I hate her!" Boofrikitywho!), Maggie ("they wouldn't have put Eric on the phone with me"- DUH!) and April ("If America really picked Janelle, they hurt my feelings!" well, yay!!-), and all the crying and trash talking they did about Janelle and "America" in the HOH bedroom was one of the best segments I have seen. I love how the PTB at Big Brother are totally calling out "The (gag) Friendship."

Rumor is that it's another double-eviction week. Cross your fingers and say some magic spells that Janelle or Howie win HOH Thursday night.

IS THIS MAN EVER GOING TO GO TO JAIL?

So, I'm sitting at my desk at work and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see my crazy co-worker, headphones on, laughing his ass off. What could be so funny? He's watching a video of R. Kelly's lip-sinc "In The Closet" performance at the VMA's. I'm watching it now as I type. And laughing my ass off. Aside from the fact that the song has always been horrible, It's just ridiculous. It's worth watching it till the end to see R. Kelly's wierd Frankenstein walk. Also, can someone please tell me who the hell is Rufus?!

OH, JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT I FINALLY STOPPED TALKING ABOUT HIM!

WHAT UP KAYSAR!!!

Big Brother 6 contestant Kaysar Ridha will make his daytime debut on The Young and the Restless. He will tape scenes with series regulars SHARON CASE (Sharon) and DON DIAMONT (Brad), in which he plays a magazine editor aboard the Newman Jet. The 25-year-old Iraqi-American and graphic designer, from Irvine, California, was eliminated for a second time from the Big Brother 6 competition on Thursday, August 18, one week after American television viewers voted him back into the house after his first elimination. Kaysar will tape Thursday, September 1 and the episode will air on Wednesday, October 5.

Also, cast your vote for Kaysar as summers hottest reality star on MSNBC's The 'IT' List.

AND NOW, THE BOBBY BLAKE CIVIL TRIAL.

Jury selection started off with a bang yesterday in the Robert Blake wrongful death civil trial. Eric Dubin, the lawyer for Bonnie Bakley's four white trash children, got an unexpected and unwelcomed surprise when several prospective jurors gloriously mouthed off about their feelings on this so-called-lawsuit. The feeling in the courtroom was that Bakley's family is suing so they can get some easy money and should leave good 'ol Bobby alone. "To me it's a deep-pockets affair," said one male potential juror. "I think you ought to leave Blake alone. He's gone through enough. It's sort of like how his wife tried to get in with him and get his money." The man said he believed Bakley's children are "trying to break him" and he could not understand why they think they are entitled to Blake's money. "I don't think Blake was even close to the family," he said. "If he was a poor man I don't think they would be going after his underwear." Oh thank you, wise man. Other prospects chimed in with similar feelings and Dubin at one point said to Superior Court Judge David M. Schacter, "Your honor, this is a tough crowd." Among other prospective jurors was a man who said he was offended because "to me it seems like double jeopardy. He is being tried for the same set of actions twice." In further questioning, Dubin compared Blake's situation to that of O.J. Simpson who was acquitted of murder and then was sued for wrongful death. After a number of questions, a male prospect blurted out: "I think you should stop mentioning the O.J. trial. There's no comparison." How I wish I was in that courtroom so I could throw my 2 cents in too. And for all of you "goody goodies" who think I am not being very "PC" about a woman that got shot in the head, well, 1) I don't care 2) take the time to read here about the what scums Bakley and her entire family were, not to mention the reasonable doubt in the case before you judge me!

KILL REALITY: DRUGGED OUT WHORES!

Oh how I live for days like today! I cannot stop giggling like a little bitch out of the sheer pleasure I am having from reading a Radar story that is just so dirty and filled with supreme gossip filth about people I h-h-hate!! Those people are the freaks on E! Entertainment's horrible reality show "Kill Reality" where they have gathered several of reality tv's worst stars to make a "horror" movie. I do need to preface this by saying the only person who has exemption from the scandal in my eyes is the fabulous, sweet, good boy Ethan from Survivor, after all, I'm pretty sure he did not live in that house of sin and even if he did, would not take part in any of the activities I am about to divulge. Apparently, an insider that worked on the show has claimed that:

"The whole cast was drunk or wasted throughout the taping, and everyone was having sex with everyone else. Not only were there orgies, but at one point someone relieved himself on Trishelle [Canatella, of Real World: Las Vegas and Playboy fame] in full view of the cameras and, from what I saw, she loved it. In another booze-fueled bacchanal, we hear Tonya Cooley, the lusty blonde of Real World: Chicago fame, begged co-stars to do lines off her genitals because it turns her on."

Baaahhaaaahaaa! How beautiful is that? That freakin' Trishelle, oh I hate her sooo much, she really is such a whore. I'm dying to know who was responsible for her golden showers moment. I so believe this because let's remember, this is a chick who had sex with Andy Dick, if that tells ya anything -egghghgh!-. I blame the damn Real World for putting her in the spotlight which resulted in her moving to Los Angeles (just like the rest of those loser defunct MTV reality people who move out to LA after and get jobs at the stinkin' Saddle Ranch) and endangering the rest of Los Angelinos by spreading around all the STD's i'm sure she has. "Allegedly" of course. I have no actual proof that Trishelle has STD's. I only have proof, and we all saw it on television, that she is a Puta!! (thank you to my favorite blog boy popbytes for teaching me that word). Oh, and Tonya, Tonya...she comes in a close second with Trishelle for being crowned reality tv's biggest skank! Can you just imagine her begging that disgusting Johnny Fairplay (aaaghghgh! I have always hated him!) to do blow off her genitals??! You know that pig would be totally into it with his pointy nose and sleazy curly ass hair. When asked about all this debauchery going on in the house the publicist for the show, Elizabeth Johnson, confirmed that there were many "drunken hookups" between the cast members, but said she couldn't discuss the lewdest events because she wasn't present during the taping.
On a lighter and much cleaner note, there were also rumors that a possible relationship was blossoming between Kill Reality's only gay star, Reichen Lehmkuhl of The Amazing Race 4 (cutie!), and American Idol's Clay Gaiken-excuse me, ehem, Aiken, (well, we've always wondered about him). It's said that while Clay was never seen at the house, Reichen was constantly taking calls from Aiken. Reichen has denied anything is going on between them but an on set source says that Clay would call him constantly and it was "very wierd." When asked about the possible romance the show's publicist was quoted as saying, "I don't really want to get into that" and a spokesman for Aiken couldn't be reached for comment. Hmmm....If Clay is really gay then he should just come out, who cares?! If the "Claymates" really love him for his voice then it shouldn't matter. We just want our #2 Idol to be happy, right?

Source: Radar Magazine.

HEY! REMEMBER ME?! REMEBER ME?! I GOT HIT ON THE HEAD TOO!!!

Like our little friend Eva Longoria, Jennifer Love Hewitt has become the latest actress to get conked on the head while working. Apparently she was hit on the old noggin by a chair during a reading for her upcoming TV show Ghost Whisperer (she talks to dead people!) and suffered a mild concussion. Huh? How does that happen? Was it a magic chair with wings? Thankfully, to the joy of millions of men, the boobies were not harmed.

TERI HATCHER DOES NOT ENGAGE IN SIN WAGONS!

For those of you who read the story published by The Sun newspapers entitled "Hatcher Shocks Neighbors with Passion Sex Wagon," which claimed Teri Hatcher had amorous encounters with men in a van parked outside her home, please note: the story is unfortunately NOT true. Ms. Hatcher's legal representatives said that the story has no basis whatsoever in truth and demanded retractions from all who published such scandalously delicious untruths. Oh well. I just love the idea of a gang full of greasy men pulling up to her house, Teri Hatcher running out her front door and loading into the dirty van for a good time. How ridiculous is that? It's so absurd you would just pray for it to be true. Saying that, I do have a sneaking suspicion that Ms. Hatcher isn't as "innocent" as she seems. Heh. Allegedly.

EMPLOYED!!

Just yesterday I was having a conversation about Britney and Kevin with one of my buddies as he flipped through the latest issue of US Weekly. He commented on how Federline was set for life and was never going to leave Britney. I agreed to that and told him, "but he really needs to get a job!" Well good 'ol Kevin must have been listening to me because it looks as though Britney's boy has finally found himself one. Kevin, I knew you had it in you! Hey, he is actually married to this baby mamma, it's the right thing to do, y'all! What will Kevin be doing for employment? He has been recruited as a dance instructor at the dance school of Darrin Henson, who has choreographed routines for Spears, 'N Sync and Jennifer Lopez. C'mon! Everyone remembers the infomercial for Darrin's Dance Grooves! I have a friend who actually bought it...eeech! Just wait and see, soon Kevin's Dance Grooves will be hitting the streets and coming to a infomercial near you. Seriously though, everyone gives Kevin such a hard time. I admit, I was guilty of it in the very beginning of the relationship. I'm very protective of my Britney. I made my share of white trash, baggy pants, Freeto loving Fresno jokes. But then, just around the time he appeared on the cover of Details Magazine, I started softening up to the Federhunk a little bit. Come on, you have to admit, he does clean up nicely and when we heard him speak for the first time were actually amazed that he can put a sentence together and doesn't think the word ask is pronounced "aks." But the thing that did it for me was not the little ditty we learned on "Chaotic," that Kevin gives Britney sex 3 times a day, it was Britney's use of the word "Motherchucker" over and over again when she crashed Kevin's Details interview. If that doesn't show dedication to a good man, I don't know what does. For those of you who don't remember, here is one of my favorite exchanges from the fab couple:

Details: People think Kevin is with you for your money.

Kevin: Oh, yeah.

Britney: Well, time will tell, motherchuckers…

Kevin: What you hear about in all those bullshit-ass magazines is bullshit.

Ahhh, true love, true love.

THURSDAY, 8:58 PM: A COLLECTIVE GROAN WAS HEARD ACROSS AMERICA

WTF???! Damn you BUSTO!

SHE'S BACK...WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

Here she comes! Even though the ankle bracelet doesn't come off until next Wednesday, my girl Martha Stewart was all over town today talking up a storm about her two new TV shows premiering in only a matter of weeks! First there's "Martha," her live syndicated weekday lifestyles show that premieres Sept. 12. and is described by Stewart as "a how-to show with entertainment and a live audience, It's not a talk show." Then there is the much anticipated "The Apprentice:Martha Stewart" premiering Wednesday Sept. 21st, where 10 women and six men, ranging in age from 22 to 42, compete for 13 weeks on tasks related to Stewart's area of expertise: publishing, apparel, entertainment and branding — with a job at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia as the Grand Prize. Mark Burnett has tapped "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics as her Apprentice theme song. Another thing that's sweet? Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia stock went up 12% today. Holla!

SLOW DAYS AND REALITY NIGHTS

Not much of interest is going on in the world of tabloid gossip this week I tell ya. The stuff that is happening is so boring I don't even want to write about it. Who cares if Scarlett Johannson clipped someone's car at Disneyland? Punky Brewster had a baby girl..whoopdidoo...that "missing teen actress" Scout Taylor Compton (who?) was found at a friends house less than 24 hours after the story went public (can we say publicity stunt? or at the very least, stupid brat?), The New York Post arguing whether or not Victoria Gotti had "real" breast cancer (precancerous, cancerous, invasive, non-invasive, it's all terrifying to any woman so shut the hell up and let her say whatever she wants NY Post), all of these stories are not giving me the proper gossip fix I need today.

So instead, let's just cover the injustices of 1) Rockstar: INXS and 2) BB6: the current situation:

Rockstar: INXS: Marty Casey and Ty Taylor being in the bottom three? Ridiculous. Dave Navarro said it best when he dropped his microphone. I even enjoyed Deanna Johnston's original song but hey, the girls are going to continue to be picked off one by one until the brilliant Marty is crowned the new lead singer of INXS and if he's not, the band is freakin' crazy. Fun stuff: you can download the live performances (albeit for .99 cents each) off the Rockstar:INXS website. I just may have to drop the nickel and get Marty's version's of Britney Spears "Baby One More Time" and The Killers "Mr. Brightside."

Big Brother 6: ugh, I have been so uninspired to write after we lost Kaysar. Janelle's HOH win was amazing, but damn, she had it for one day, that is not fair. Now tonight Howie and Rachel are up for eviction and it looks like Ray-Ray is probably going to be the one out the door. Good, cuz even though I like her just fine, I'm not ready to see Howie leave. The nerd herd and their possible domination with the votes is just depressing and I'm praying The Summer of Secrets will bring a twist to the final vote. I cannot believe the Nerd Herd still talks about Crappy and put his picture up in the HOH room? Um, hello? How many people projectile vomited when they saw that on Tuesday's show? Losers! And what is up Ivette's butt about Rachel? Me no likie the "Spicey Latina." Tonight there is supposed to be a new America's Choice, let's hope that it is something good and that it can make a real difference in the outcome of the show. Hmm...maybe we crown this weeks HOH? Hey, I can dare to dream can't I?

OH GOD, THEY ARE JUST SO GOOD....

Tick tock...Only a week until the new death cab for cutie cd comes out (and Tori Amos Bootlegs too, yay!). You can now hear an advance preview of death cab's new cd Plans on mtvU.com's The Leak. If you aren't a fan of this band already, it's time to become one. If you are a big lyrics person, especially the kind that rip your heart out, throw it on the ground, but leave you begging for more, this is the band for you.

Tunes currently obesessed with: Soul Meets Body, Crooked Teeth & Someday You Will Be Loved

BO BICE OFF IDOL TOUR-HAS EMERGENCY SURGERY

Oh no! My man Bo is off the American Idol tour! By the way Bo-licious was running and dancing around on stage with a cast last week, no one would have guessed anything more than a broken foot was bothering with him when he blew the roof off the Los Angeles Staples Center, but apparently he's been very ill. -tears- The following night, Bo was rushed to Desert Springs Hospital in Las Vegas where he underwent emergency surgery this past Friday. MSNBC.com reported that according to a note posted on sugarmoney.net, Bo's official website, the surgery was a success, but Bo will not be returning to the Idol tour:

"Bo has successfully undergone an emergency medical procedure that was urgently needed to save his life," the site said. "Bo had a blockage in his intestines that required immediate surgery. After the successful surgery it is critical that Bo rests for a minimum of six weeks. He will be returning to his home soon to do so."

Remember all the rumors back during the Idol finale that Bo was sick and had food poisoning? Well, he was sick but it was not food poisoning, it was his stomach problems which almost sidelined him that night. Bo's & Constantine's performances have been the highpoint of the Idol tour. Since Bo has been absent for the past three shows and now unable to return, how did they handle the show without him? Foxesonidol.com posted the following show scoop on their website:

On Saturday night in San Jose, the first show since Bo’s surgery, those in attendance were not told in advance that Bo would not be performing. Then, at the point where Bo would have normally appeared onstage, Anthony announced that Bo would not be performing and instead, his performance of “Vehicle” was shown on the jumbotron. After that, Constantine came out, singing “Sweet Home Alabama,” and was joined by Scott, Anthony, Anwar, and Nikko in an emotional tribute to Bo. At the end of the show, during the encore, Constantine wore a Bo Bice tee shirt!

I feel really lucky to have been able to see Bo perform live for what was, unbeknownst to us, his final night on the Idol tour. Bo, we love you! Our prayers are with you for a speedy recovery!!

COURTNEY LOVE PREGGERS?!

Oh wow, Courtney Love is allegedly pregnant. Oh dear. I don't even know who this guy Steve Coogan is, I gotta look him up. Note the source of this is News of The World, so who knows about it's validity... I don't have time for commentary right now so here is the story...more from me later, fo'sho.....

Troubled singer Courtney Love is pregnant with actor Steve Coogan's baby.

Love has confirmed she is expecting the Around The World In 80 Days star's child following a torrid two week affair at Los Angeles' Sunset Marquis hotel last month (JUL05).

She says, "Yes, I am pregnant with Steve's baby, but I'd rather not talk about our relationship."

A source tells the News Of The World, "It was literally non-stop sex. Courtney described Steve as 'a f**king sex addict' and said he had a major substance problem.

"He admitted to seeing seven other women as well as Courtney but he told her he wasn't in love with any of them - he was falling in love with her."

Love, who is on probation for three separate charges, is currently on a 28 day drug treatment program after failing a drug test.

The source adds, "This couldn't come at a worse time for her.

"She hasn't made any decision about whether she should keep the baby or not. Courtney is 41 and this might be the last time she gets to have another child."

UPDATE:
the 41-year-old singer has released an official statement through her management company, Sanctuary Artist Management., denying she is pregnant.
The statement says, "Courtney Love wishes to make it clear that she denies recent stories suggesting she is pregnant or has had a relationship with Steve Coogan.

ONLY SERIOUS APPLICANTS NEED APPLY...

First, I want to preface this by saying I’m a big fan of Bravo’s Being Bobby Brown. We saw Bobby and Whitney in a brand new light and laughed our asses off. Yes, they are looney tunes, but one of the things that is clear is that these two love each other, get each other, not to mention, are hell-to-the-hilarious. Yes, they have had their troubles, but this couple has been married since, damn…1992. That is a lot to say for a celebrity marriage where in Hollywood, marriages usually have a time span of about 18 months. So let’s give Whitney and Bobby some props where props are due and cross our fingers that we get Being Bobby Brown season two.

And now, some of the latest Bobby/Whitney gossip. Looks like there may be a job opening over there at the Brown/Houston ranch. Our fine friends at Radar have obtained court documents stating that in Feb 04, Houston and Brown’s maid of 17 years Silvia Vejar, “filed a suit claiming she’d been subjected to a six year pattern of sexual assault and harassment.” They go on to say that Vejar’s former coworker, Rose Hunt, “soon followed suit, claiming the couple fostered an “intimidating and offensive working environment.” The court documents do not go into specifics on what actually took place, but Radar says that a source close to Houston claims a “typical household chore” when Houston was “really screwed up from drugs” involved tending to her hygiene. “They would have to wash her privates for her. It was disgusting. Those poor women deserve anything they can get!” A courthouse source said a settlement was being negotiated.

Ahhh, hell to the no! Whitney, say it ain’t so!

NATASHA LYONNE, WHAT A MESS!

We asked Hollywood for a third and we gotz our third....Natasha Lyonne, that trainwreck that starred in such films as American Pie and Slums of Beverly Hills, is in intensive care at a New York City hospital with hepatitis C, a collapsed lung and a heart infection, according to Access Hollywood and the New York Post. Lyonne is "fighting for her life" and "struggling to survive," per Access Hollywood. The Post reports that the actress was found with track marks and is also receiving methadone treatment, which is typically used to combat heroin addiction. A few months back, Jane Magazine published an article written by actor Michael Rappaport talking about subletting an apartment to Lyonne in the building he owned and how she basically completely trashed the place, went nutzo and disrupted the neighbors day in and day out. This lead to her being charged in December with criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after she freaked out on one of her neighbors in Rappaports building, ripping a mirror off the woman's wall and threatening to sexually molest her dog. Koo! Koo! Koo! Koo!

SO MUCH FOR EXHAUSTION! IT'S REHAB!

Good ol boy Eminem is in Rehab. We knew something was up when his peeps gave the old "exhaustion" excuse for the cancellation of his European tour a couple days back. Eminem of all people having exhaustion? Um, yah, nah-ah. Who is he, Lindsay Lohan? And get this, a spokesperson for Em says he is in the hospital under doctor's care and being treated for dependancy on sleep medication. Sleep medication??? Give me a break. I'm sorry, I don't know the "Hollywood code" for that one. Does that mean cocaine? Heroine? A really bad addiction to the Ganja, the Wacky Tobaccy? Was he taking "sleep medication" to come down from something else? Hmmmm..naughty, naughty, naughty. Wow, first Courtney Love, now Eminem...C'mon Hollywood! Give us lucky number three, it's Friday!

RELAPSE.

Oh Courtney, so sad, so sad. You were doing so great, what the hell happened? What pushed you over the edge? Was it the fat jokes? Was it the Pamela Anderson Roast? Whatever it was, Courtney Love is back in rehab today after she tearfully admitted in court to using drugs, a violation of her probation terms. The judge ordered her into a 28-day drug treatment program, but said he wanted to put her in jail. "I think that you need to hit rock bottom before you make a decision about what you're going to do in the future," Superior Court Judge Rand Rubin told the sobbing Love. Love was in court for allegedly being under the influence of a controlled substance which was not identified, but by the way she was acting at Pammy Anderson's roast and that little thing she did on stage, putting her finger up to her nose and then pointed it to the audience, I'm going to guess, allegedly, um, maybe COCAINE? Geesh, why can't people stop with the blow already? The judge ordered her back to court Sept. 16 for sentencing on the probation violations. "There will be sentencing and some further consequences at that time," Rubin said. "I think you either need a long-term drug program or a long term in County Jail." Yikes, jail. We saw it happen to Robert Downey Jr., Scott Wieland, & Bobby Brown all because of the drugs. I hate to say it, but I think good 'ol Courtney is finally headed to the Big House.

BYE, BYE BITCHES!

For a night that started off with sadness and dissapointment, it sure ended with a celebratory bang! Like Howie said, “It’s hurricane season!” and on tonight’s Big Brother, Hurricane Howie and Hurricane Janelle rolled on in. From Howie asking April “How do you feel that America hates you April? I want a pepperoni pizza (April’s dog’s name is Pepperoni) where can I get some pepperoni for it?” to the always gorgeous and charming Janelle’s spirit induced rant, “Maggie? You’re a bitch! Jennifer? You look like a clown!” Poor Beau was reduced to drunken tears after his fight with Janelle (how awesome was that screaming match??) Hey, all I can say is when you are part of “The Nerd Herd” you’re fair game sweetheart. The beauty of Big Brother is that the game can turn on a dime and that it did when Janelle won the HOH competition (YAY!) tonight. What we didn’t hear was that after her win, Janelle walked up to Jen and said, “give me the f’in key bitch!” That’s why we saw Jen throw it on the ground during the live show. Since this is a double-eviction week, she had to immediately nominate 2 houseguests, which ended up being Jenny and Maggie. What a great site it was to see Janelle strut out into the living room and announce her nominations all while shooting fire out of her eyes and then telling them, “bye, bye bitches!” Go Janey!

Well. Once again, King Kaysar is gone. How heartbreaking was that first live shot of him? Dressed impeccably, dashingly handsome, but visibly sad and disappointed. Kaysar played the game like it should be played, with great skill, intelligence and yes, balls. That is the type of player Big Brother fans like to see, one that approaches the game for what it is, a big, elaborate puzzle. It’s sad, because the fans of the show brought him back and then Kaysar was ripped away from us again too quickly and in such a horrible, unfair way. “America’s Choice” should have had more of a choice and a chance to stay. After his first eviction from the Big Brother house a couple weeks back, Kaysar was on Housecalls and told Marcellas that although he did not win the game, he accomplished what he had hoped to accomplish. Think about it. When Kaysar first walked through the doors of the Big Brother house, many viewers saw him as the Iraqi, the Muslim guy who prayed every morning and some people cracked the typical terrorist jokes. But by week two, things changed. We started to know Kaysar as the intelligent, thoughtful, intriguing and yes, hunky man he is, not that profiled stereotype that people today are so quick to assign. 82 % of Big Brother fans, Americans, fell in love with the guy. When he walked out those doors of the Big Brother house, he wasn’t the “Iraqi” or “the Muslim guy” anymore, he was just our King Kaysar.

You did not let America down.

AMERICAN IDOLS LIVE! COMES TO LOS ANGELES

Alright, so, last night I went to my very first American Idol concert. No, I am not 13 and please don't make fun of me. I did it for two reasons and two reasons only: Bo Bice and Constantine Maroulis. I hesitated going, knowing now how much the tv show is a scam and really didn't want to give my $60 freakin' dollars (yes, you heard me...) to Nigel Lithgow, Simon Fuller and all the rest of those stinking money grubbing, ballot box stuffing sons-o-bitches, but Bo & Constantine were a callin.' So basically, the show was everything you would expect, um pretty uneventful and def not worth the ticket price. But here are some highlights: Jessica Sierra opened up the show (um, who?)--exactly. Nikko Smith was actually really good, looked like Usher and even treated us to a little Justin Timberlake. Anwar Robinson was sweet chocolate as ever. When that stinky Scott "Fatty Arbuckle Baby Mamma Beater" Savol came out we left our seats and circled the Staples Center in protest and sarcastically cried out "Go Scotty! GO!" every couple minutes and then burst out laughing. Still after all these months, the memory of him is painful and hearing his horrible, off key voice is even worse. One of the bright spots was my man Constantine Maroulis. He was awesome, but I have to say that the consensus amongst us girls was that good 'ol Connie enjoyed a couple pops before going on stage--if you know what I'm saying. Nonetheless, he was thoroughly enjoyable. For some unknown reason, there was a 30 minute intermission where at one point pictures of celebrities were flashing up on the big screens and crowd reactions were as follows: Jude Law popped up and people yelled "cheater!" Will Smith popped up and people cheered, Brad Pitt popped up to first squeals and then scattered groans, Jennifer Aniston popped up and the place filled with sad "awwwwwwws" and then, Angelina Jolie's face popped up and the place erupted and I really mean erupted into a mass cry of boo's and hisses. Awesome! Ok, so after intermission Cute Baby V came out and she was great, sweet, lovely as always, Nadia Turner came out with bigger hair than I've ever seen (think of those joke fro wigs you can buy)...then Federov treated us to his first Spanish song on stage! Oh so dreamy! -eyeroll-. Then, the one, the only, Bo Bice came out with a cute little cane cuz of his broken foot and basically tore that place apart. When he walked out on stage, the Staples center literally shook from how loud the screams were. People were cheering, singing and shaking their bootys. With only 4 songs, Bo was able to make you forget you were sitting at an American Idol concert and he played the guitar (sexy!). Even though his hair still needs a bit of work (thank god, at least no flat iron tonight), he is truly, truly, so talented and way beyond AI. Although the show should have ended on Bo, that fake American Idol Carrie Underwood came out and basically people just sat in their seats or decided it was the time to leave. Sorry Carrie, must be hard to follow a Bice Buzz!

NEXT WEEK, WE TERRORIZE THEM

Jen the bitch. That is what I really wanted the headline to be. Or Ivette, the bitch and we can’t forget April the chin implant bitch with the pointy nose. Jen swore on her life that they would backdoor James and as we saw tonight, that horrible, horrible woman who couldn’t even win a HOH on her own merit, with real endurance or skill and had to resort to begging and tears, put my man Kaysar up for eviction when Rachel used the POV on herself. Watching tonight’s episode and knowing what was coming was truly painful. The past two days have been painful. I’m pissed. I wanna crack some skulls right now, all 5’4 of me. That friend of mine at work who I often quote on this blog (and who would now like to be referred to as simply “The Shadow”) tried to comfort me saying “don’t feel bad, Kaysar isn’t real, he is just an anamatronic at Disneyland.” Even that didn’t help. What the hell went wrong and how sexy was it when Kaysar angrily threw his baseball cap against the wall? It’s just like Kaysar said, he gave that HOH to Jen after hours of torment in the “Pressure Cooker” and she looked him in the eye and gave her word, on her life. I really hope Karma catches up to her. Don't even get me started on that piece of work James. Suddenly he has become “Saint James,” all about morals and playing the game right? EXCUSE ME? He is not fooling me, not fooling me for a minute with all his heartfelt diary room statements and conversations with “The Friendship” (they should ALL be eliminated for having such a lame name)! As I thought, tonight’s episode did not show the eruption that went on in the BB house after Kaysar was put up for nomination. Maybe we will see some of it on Thursday’s live show, maybe we wont. Let’s just put it this way…Janelle and Howie went on a rampage. I’m talking about a drunk Janelle yelling at Beau that he is a “gold digging slut who F@*ks old men for money,” yelled “go F*#k yourself!” to Jen, Maggie and April all on separate occasions—and that’s not even half of the Janelle highlights. Howie went off on April saying she is in trouble because she's either with him in the BB house or sequester house, no one bothers to put her up because she sucks so much, she is the most annoying person in the house and that he doesn’t f'ing care anymore, she is going out the f'ing door next week when he wins HOH next Thursday!” Beau got drunk again and puked in his bed over and over. They even had to get a bucket for him. So, we’ll see who gets evicted. No matter who goes and even if it’s Kaysar, I have no doubt that after witnessing last nights events, Howie and Janelle will honor his words: “next week, we terrorize them.”

EXHAUSTION? YAH, RIGHT.

What's really going on with Eminem? You know what they say in Hollywood, when a celebrity is suffering from "exhaustion" we are to assume it is a code word for a drug addiction or drug overdose. Well, Eminem cancelled his European tour for that very reason, "exhaustion." Interscope Records released a statement saying, "Eminem is currently being treated for exhaustion, complicated by other medical issues. The shows are not expected to be rescheduled." Hmmmmm....? (eyebrows raised) "other medical issues" you say? What on earth could that be? Eminem's publicist told The Associated Press he had no further information on Eminem's condition, and couldn't say whether he was hospitalized or what other medical issues he had. Interesting, very interesting. In other Eminem news, darling Mariah Carey is pissed to high heaven because Eminem has been playing her "intimate phone messages" to audiences on his Anger Management tour. PageSix.com reports the private messages feature Carey begging, "I heard you were getting back with your ex-wife. Why won't you see me? Why won't you call me? You're not calling me." Eminem then pretended to vomit into a prop toilet on stage and launched into his song PUKE which features lines including "you make me sick." Nice. I bet Mariah couldn't be happier about his sudden bout of "exhaustion."

COMPLETE AND UTTER CHAOS: BB6 IT'S AWWWN!

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!! Fans of Big Brother, if you do not watch the live feeds or at least read the live feed updates, today is the day to start. But most importantly, DO NOT MISS TONIGHT and THURSDAY night's episodes. I'm not going to post any major spoilers, all I will say is that they can only put so much in an hour show and edit out so many swear words. Be warned, if you do look at these sites, it will spoil POV competition and it's aftermath, but it is so worth it. All out war has broken out in the house (i'm telling you we have never seen anything like this) and you will get the complete story and transcripts, pictures, etc by looking at Jokers Updates. Read everything you can from yesterday, because I promise, there is no way it can all make it onto the actual broadcast. I also just found a site called Dingo's Hamster Watch that gave a good quick recap of yesterday's happenings.

Also, don't forget to TiVo the premiere of "Tommy Lee Goes To College" 9pm/nbc. !!!

INJURED.

Bolloks! It's my bloody birthday!

Poor Madge. Today is her 47th birthday and she ends up in the hospital! Madonna was badly hurt when she suffered several broken bones in a horse riding accident at her country home outside London. She was out with an assistant taking a birthday horse ride on a new horse she wasn't accustomed to, and basically fell off. She was hospitalized with three cracked ribs, a broken collarbone and broken hand. Oouch! She is expected to be released from the hospital later this evening.

HELL TO THE YAH! SIGN ME UP FOR THIS CLASS: AMBER FREY TAKES ON THE LEARNING ANNEX

Ahh shucks! I can’t believe I missed it! Amber Frey held two seminars at the Learning Annex last week called “An Evening with Amber Frey: Caught in Scott Peterson’s Web of Lies,” where she discussed her involvement with Peterson, the murder trial of Laci and how she had to learn to forgive and call upon her inner strength to overcome the challenges life was throwing at her. O.K., so I was slightly obsessed with the Scott Peterson case. Maybe I listened over and over to her taped phonecalls with Peterson everyday on Court TV (and read the transcripts), could not get through the day without my hero Nancy ‘Goodnight Friend' Grace’s commentary, ran to the bookstore the day Amber Frey: Witness for the Prosecution came out, tore through it two days and watched the TV movie based on it (the book was better), but having an opportunity to go listen to Amber, not to mention possibly getting a glimpse of vicious Gloria “Ballcrushers” Allred would have been a dream come true. Gloria, the publicity whore she is, is always by Amber’s side and I bet she would have been wearing one of her fabulous broaches. Amber lives in Fresno, but you wanna take a guess where they held the seminars? The Learning Annex in San Diego (where Peterson’s parents live, not to mention where he was arrested) and San Francisco (where Scott is spending the remainder of his days on death row). Isn’t it ironic, dontcha’ think? Hey, I know Amber isn’t the brightest bulb on the tree. I have no excuse for her posing for those nude photos with the braces. But, I think considering what Peterson put her through and the privacy she lost in result, she deserves a hella big break. She is a single mom with two children whose fathers basically bailed on her. It is actually quite tragic and sad how she keeps making the same mistakes with men over and over, (Girl! Learn how to use protection!) but I really would have been interested to hear what she had to say. If you know anything about her, you know that she is a good person who, in her desperate hope for love and companionship, trusted men way too easily and way too quickly. What happened to her with Peterson was a frightening realization to many women that we no longer live in a day where we can meet someone seemingly perfect, keep our guards down and let love run its course. Because like Amber learned, that perfect man could also be the perfect murderer or a married son of a bitch.

PERMANENTLY ERECT.

Tom Sizemore, the actor probably best known for his role in Saving Private Ryan (but I prefer to refer to him as the bastard that beat my girl Heidi Fleiss when they were dating) is a freakin' trainwreck. He has had so many problems, all of them related to drugs. Just a sampling of his misdeeds include a trip to rehab in '95 for a heroin habit, being convicted of beating up a girlfriend in '02, charged in '04 with threatening to inflict injury on ex-Madam Heidi (remember her crying on the witness stand?) and also his arrest for possession of methamphetamine and crack ('04). A couple months ago, a story came out about him trying to trying to falsify a drug test by using a Whizzinator a fake penis that holds drug-free urine (click the link, they've got pictures!). Yikes. Just when you think the Whizzinator story could not be topped, my favorite tabloid, The National Enquirer has done it. They are reporting that Sizemore has recently been diagnosed with the medical condition Priapism, which, get this, means "he can never be satisfied sexually and has an abnormal, persistent and painful erection that won't go down in spite of orgasm and can be caused by alcohol or drug abuse." Neato! His manager backs up the story saying, "He can have sex nine times without stopping. His condition explains his sexual addiction." This isn't even the best part people...there's more, there's more! Seems that good 'ol boy Tom set up camera's all around his house to document his escapades with the nine girls living with him (yes, I said nine) to make some homemade porn. But someone got hold of three tapes and sold them and they are expected to hit the internet at any minute. Scandal! I love it! But shiiiiit, now I have this damn visual of Sizemore, arms outstretched, running around the house chasing the women with a massive boner. It's gonna haunt me the whole day and I hope now that you've read this story it will haunt you too. God help us all.

WHERE'S ASHTON WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

I picked up the latest issue of The National Enquirer tonight and just read their exclusive interview with Matt LeBlanc who is coming clean about his recent naughty behavior with a stripper. In a nutshell, Matt said he was on a motorcycle trip in British Columbia with his buddies, went to a strip club one night, got all liquored up and let some floozy stripper take him to a back room where she shoved her boobies in his face and got him to feel her up. Matt admits that he is ashamed for putting himself in a situation like that and says that he was slow to react in his drunken haze, but once he realized things were spiraling out of control (was that while your hands were on the boobies or after Matt?) he came to his senses and got the hell out of the strip club of sin. Some witnesses claim they saw Matt do cocaine with the stripper, a charge he vehemently denies saying, “I did have too much to drink but I never, ever went near drugs that night. I remember feeling uncomfortable about so many things and wanting to leave but not wanting to ruin the night for everyone else.” Hmmmm, they said the hotel he was staying at was right across the street, couldn’t he have just left? Matt also spoke about how he may have been a target to others in the club, “I looked around and noticed how much drug usage was going on. It was like a mob scene in there. Everything was happening so fast. Girls were coming round, drinks were being offered. People were trying to push drugs into my hand, in front of me, in my face. I’m talking to this person then that person and it was like I was being singled out or something. Almost set up.” Poor Matt, I actually do feel bad for him. Especially because you know he must have been pinned up balls against the wall to do an exclusive with The National Enquirer.

NOOO! DON'T LET GO OF THE BUTTON!!!!!!

Oh my hot, beautiful, Kaysar. Why'd you do it? Why did you let go of the button?? You were this close and your kindness took over. Oh Kaysar! I hate that Jennifer, I hate her! Even though it was funny when she was crying and then gave a little wink to the camera, I hate her for lying to my Kaysar. Rachel and Janelle have been nominated for eviction and the plan so far is to "back door" James. BUT, I have a very, very, very bad feeling about what is going down and my addiction to reading the jokers updates live feed boards is to blame. I will say nothing further about the situation except that in a few days, I may be too emotionally broken to write anymore BB6 updates. This is my punishment for getting too emotionally invested in a damn reality show, heartbreak over and over! I'm finally starting to recover from Bo and Constantine's losses on American Idol (oooh yay! 4 more days till the concert!) and now this. Freakin' Motherchuckers! Other highlights from last night's episode include everyone laughing and screaming at Beau's "Chocolate Pee Pee," Howie holding and comforting Rachel after she saw the Chocolate Pee Pee, Beau finally showing some personality when he got stinking drunk during the HOH comp by continually walking past Kaysar and slapping his ass (the smartest thing he's done all season.)

OH WELL, WE'RE STUCK WITH HER.

Here we go...results are in and those big time investigators said they found no proof that Paula Abdul had an affair with former American Idol contestant Corey Clark or helped him on the show. "Paula Abdul, therefore, can continue as a judge on 'American Idol,'" the network and series producers said in a statement.Bahahahahahahahahaaaaaa! If that is not a load of crap, I don't know what is! No matter how greasy Corey Clark is, it was so obvious poor tortured Paula had an affair with him. I watched that Dateline interview! I saw Paula's cough medicine, receipts from Fred Segal and heard the voicemails! She did it, no question! Saying that, I never wanted Paula to leave the show, even as annoying as she is and as much as I scream "they have to get rid of her!!!" after every critique she gives, I would really miss seeing Simon torment her. Plus, Corey Clark is such a low-life that I would hate for him to get any vindication. Welcome back Paula!

COURTNEY WATCH...

UPDATE: WTF? I didn't even hear this rumor, but Drudge has this little blurb...don't want any fans to worry!
FALSE COURTNEY LOVE SUICIDE RUMORS FILL INTERNET: LAPD Officer Kathi Simpson of the Media Relations office says detectives report that the suicide in the 8500 block of Mulholland Drive in the Mount Olympus area does not involve a celebrity. Off duty police officer reportedly killed self early in morning in secluded area off famous drive...

original post:
Aww Courtney, you break me freakin' heart! I really wanted to believe in you and have a little faith, I should have known better. Boohoo. -so sad-

Page Six had the following dirt on Courtney at Pammy Anderson's recent Comedy Central roast:

YESTERDAY'S announcement that Courtney Love had tested positive for drugs came as no surprise to anyone who attended the Comedy Central roast of Pamela Anderson Sunday night at the Sony Studios in L.A. Love was "out of it" when she arrived. On the red carpet, she slammed her head into a photographer's lens while posing for a close-up, a source said. During the roast, Love, seated on the dais, repeatedly flashed her crotch at the crowd, pulled up her shirt to reveal a lacy black bra and shouted "Drugs on the house!" She babbled incoherently into the microphone for ten minutes — prompting more than a few people to tell the rocker to be quiet. After Love shouted, "I'm sober over a year now," host Jimmy Kimmel said, "If this is sober, there is a real problem." One audience member snickered, "She makes Andy Dick look like a choirboy." The roast will be televised Sunday at 10 p.m., but sources say Love's antics will "have to be cut. Even Comedy Central can't run most of what she did." Love's manager didn't return calls

FASHION IDOL?

Usually when celebrities put out fashion lines they suck. Just look at the cheap crap J-Lo put out (maybe her new line Sweetface will be better), Mary-Kate and Ashley (K-Mart!), Kathy Lee Gifford (Wallmart!), Anna Nicole Smith (trashy!) and Pamela Anderson(saw it in Malibu, actually kinda cute) and I'm not holding out too much hope for Jessica Simpson's new line either (inspired by Daisy Duke? whatever!). But seriously, the only good line to come from a celebrity has been Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B. , that is, until now. You may love him, you may hate him, but Ryan Seacrest (yes, you heard me) has come out with "The R Line," an awesome line of funky ass t-shirts (which I happen to be wearing today, thank you very much). His stuff aint no Wallmart quality crap either, these super soft, not to mention flattering t-shirts are being sold at places like Fred Segal, Marshall Fields and other cute little boutiques. I want to buy one in every design and just like I can't stop buying new pairs of jeans, probably will!

82% --WON BY A LANDSLIDE

HOLLA!!
Or should I say Praise Allah?!
Welcome Back Kaysar!!!!!

With numbers like that, I say Kaysar in '08.

NEW SURVIVOR CAST REVEALED

Even if the show seems to go on and on and on, I still love it. Read all about the 11th season and new cast of Survivor Guatemala here.

WE DIDN'T DRESS LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS IN HIGHSCHOOL

Oh the horror. That's that fake extension wearing, beauty pageant ("I've been in five!") girl Casey or whatever her name is from MTV's Laguna Beach at her prom. tvgasm has posted pictures of the whole gang for everyone to look at. Geesh, all we had to worry about at last year's prom was Lo & Christina's matching dress pattern "whore!" now we have Casey wearing that horrrrrrible yellow dress Sheryl Crow wore to the Grammys. It's so awful, it hurts to look at it. Oh the humanity!

TARA REID JUMPS THE SHARK

"Oh my God, what is wrong with her?? Why is she such a whore?!" That's what my friend said to me as we spent the first hour of work looking and laughing at all the jacked up pictures of Tara Reid on the internet (I still have to find him that old "nipple slip" one). O.k., so, I have a confession to make. As much as I didn't want to, I could not pass up a possible opportunity to make fun of Tara, so I (whispering...) watched some of that crap ass Wild On Tara Reid's wasted, completely worked and bloated excuse for a woman show on E!. Before I lose everyone's respect, I will preface this by saying I have my priorities in order. I taped the damn crap Tara show and watched my favorite Lifetime movie "A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story" ("Your Daddy dumped your Mommy for a 12 year old!") for the zillionth time instead. Yay! The follow-up movie airs tonight! So basically, this is the deal....I couldn't get past the first 20 mins of the Tara show before I turned it off and went to sleep. Like I expected, it was the biggest load of crap ever and I'm embarrassed for E! that they are even putting this on the air. Just give me more reruns of Dr. 90210 instead, ok? Seriously, the first scene had Tara walking down the stairs of an airplane, seemingly already drunk because she friggin' tripped on the last couple steps and even screwed up saying the name of the show. After that, I couldn't understand one word that drunkin' whore was saying. She talks so fast and slurs her words and the whole show sounded like this, "bladeba, badaba, dabada, badaba, Paris, Paris, abada, debasha, like, blabada." Also to my complete horror, the show basically followed that other freakin' whore Paris Hilton around, oh God, when is she going to go away??? Absolutely horrible. I should have gone with my gutt and stayed far, far, away. Never again.